Probably the most personal thing I’ve ever posted.
I can honestly say that 5 years ago today changed my life without even knowing it. In the year of 2018 I suffered from depression and anxiety. I was put on medication, suffered from severe anxiety attacks, frequent memory loss, and was in and out of doctor’s appointments for my heart because I couldn’t rid myself of nausea and erratic heart beats. It’s not something I mention to a lot of people.
However, I reached out for help. Long story sort, one of the practices that I picked up was journaling. I wrote in my journal every day. I gave up Facebook. I went sober. I really focused on my mental health. It changed my life and my mindset for the absolute best.
But this post isn’t about me. It’s about someone else.
5 years ago today, I met T. She walked into an empty room while I was setting up and asked for MY help. Anyways, the post below will tell you more. That being said, in my depressive catatonic-like state I used to live, T was still most important to me. I can’t thank her enough for helping me look at life in a different way, even though she thinks that I did the same for her. Here’s an entry from my journal. (I named my journal Jude, btw.)
Would you believe that one of my best friends is a 78 year old woman? I met her when she was 74. Her name is Tanya Ball. I call her ‘T’. If fact, we all call her ‘T’. She’s somewhat of a local celebrity in the fitness world because of the things she does and puts herself through.
She approached me 4 years ago when I was setting up for a boot camp one Sunday morning. Quite frankly, I was probably hung-over as hell. Little did I know, that moment would change my life.
I’ve been training T religiously 3 days a week for 4 years now. I always wondered why she picked me that day. She said she was watching from afar. Noticing how I work and what not. Thinking back, I feel like she might be an angel. Like seriously, my guardian angel.
A moment happened three days ago that blew my mind. I never told T about my issues the past few months. I always tried to keep a straight face in front her because I knew she needed my positive attitude (quite frankly it’s the other way around). However, this morning in our training session, she pulled me aside and demanded I tell her what’s wrong.
I said, “What makes you think something is wrong?”
She replies, “I’ve never had a hug like the one you gave me on Saturday (3 days ago).”
“What do you mean?”, I replied.
“I could feel your desperation.”
I stood there in a daze. Thinking about all the energy around me and trying to come up with a theory on how someone could feel such emotion in a hug.
Maybe she is my angel. If so, than I know I’m in good hands.
Until next time. . .”
I dedicate this post to T, my angel. The most powerful, strongest, and influential person outside of my family that I have ever met. She turned 79 years old yesterday.
~ Geoff Morehart
Side Note: If you ever think that you are far above reaching out for mental health help . . . you are WRONG. I used to be that guy. Reaching out for therapy was one of the best things I ever did for myself. I can’t say that it literally saved my life, but I can 100% say that it brought me back to a path when I completely fell off. Go get help.